不是滋味的滋味

惆怅。仿徨。迷惘。

对未知的恐惧,对未来的渴望。

从没有一刻,像现在这般,深切的怀疑起,自己规划的人生路。怀抱着最深刻的恐惧,意图追寻最辉煌的明天。不知道是该不解,或是该装成明白一切。我想要,明明白白的想,这条无法回头的路,如何走,才不至于断了未来。我想要,朋友和家人给我支持和安慰,让我支撑下去,走完这一程。

不是前怕狼后怕虎,而是真真切切的因为不可知的一切而恐惧。我试图掌握自己的命运,可是命运到底有多少是掌握在自己的手中?

我们念着bless互相祝福,因为我们无法用其他语言诉说这交织着恐惧、希望、幸运与绝望的道路。

我们向不可知的神祈求,因为我们的心灵无法获得应有的安宁,只能借助于外物,去安定焦躁的灵魂。

不是滋味的滋味。

该需要怎样强大的精神力量,才能够平安顺遂的把这一程走完?我无言,亦无托词,只能坚韧,坚忍;想,或者不想;尖锐的痛,或者闷闷的伤;锤炼专业的同时,亦是锤炼自己的心神。

只愿,平安顺遂,各偿所愿。

Amen。

2009-07-23 14:44:56 +0000

2.8.1来啦~

2.8.1了,貌似不错。暂停更新一周左右。。。ps网络状况很乐观

2009-07-12 14:44:16 +0000

Rain。。。

我有个很奇怪的爱好,一旦下雨,就想听Rain(by Madonna)。

姑且先把歌词放在这里。

因为歌词的出现,这篇blog可能会变得很长。。。

I feel it It's coming

Rain... feel it on my finger tips Hear it on my window pane Your love's coming down like rain... Wash away my sorrow Take away my pain Your love's coming down like rain...

When your lips are burning mine And you take the time To tell me how you feel When you listen to my words And I know you've heard I know it's real Rain is what this thunder brings For the first time, I can hear my heart sing Call me a fool but I know I'm not I'm gonna stand out here on the mountain top Till I feel your

Rain... feel it on my finger tips Hear it on my window pane Your love's coming down like rain... Wash away my sorrow, take away my pain Your love's coming down like rain...

When you looked into my eyes And you said goodbye Could you see my tears... When I turned the other way Did you hear me say I'd wait for all the dark clouds bursting in a perfect sky You promised me when you said goodbye That you'd return when the storm was done And now I wait for the light, I'll wait for the sun, till I feel your

Rain... feel it on my finger tips Hear it on the window pane Your love's coming down like rain... Wash away my sorrow, take away my pain Your love's coming down like

Here comes the sun Here comes the sun And I say... never go away...

Waiting is the hardest thing  [It's strange] I tell myself that if I believe in you  [I feel like I've known you before] In the dream of you  [I want to understand you more] With all my heart and all my soul  [And more and more] That by sheer force of will  [When I'm with you] I will raise you from the ground  [I feel like a magical child] And without a sound you'll appear  [Everything strange] And surrender to me  [Everything wild] To love

Rain is what the thunder brings For the first time, I can hear my heart sing Call me a fool but I know I'm not I'm gonna stand out here on the mountain top Till I feel your

Rain... I feel it, it's coming Your love's coming down like rain... I feel it, it's coming Your love's coming down like rain... Feel it on my finger tips Hear it on the window pane Your love's coming down like rain... Wash away my sorrow, take away my pain Your love's coming down like rain...

I feel it, it's coming Your love's coming down like rain... I feel it, it's coming Your love's coming down like rain...

You step out on the mountaintop And you're free to call my name Rain...

当然了这篇日志其实和这首歌没啥直接关系。

到上海颇有几天了。最初的忙乱购物整理过去,现在放松了下来。屈指一算,明天回家,十天后再回来,虽然很折腾,但却是必需的。

今天跑去商业区,买了些带回家的小吃。陪人逛etam,人家空手而归,我却买了一件上衣三条挂链。。。我看到自己需要的东西,只要中意然后价格可以接受,一般就会买下来,省得后悔。。。

算算这段时间,护肤品上花了不少钱。。。

和人合租,我占了主卧,悍然有两张床,只是其中一张完全没在用。电视机收起来,电脑扔到茶几上,桌上添个台灯,终于也有点学习的气氛了。

控制好自己的情绪和生活,安排好作息,调整好心态,全心全力但是有张有弛的准备考研。

一张一弛,文武之道。

其实心里的弦绷得还是有点紧了,想得太多,遇小事总是有点烦躁。在按部就班的生活之中,在柴米油盐的琐碎之中,沉静自己的心吧。我觉得考研更多的是看心态,我只怕自己的心态不够好。所以还是要调适。

也许会练练瑜伽。早晚听听音乐,白天呆在学校自习室,晚上回来看看英语之类的。对不需要在意的事情放弃了解,别人的是非也好闲话也罢过耳云烟,也不要因为别人的步调打乱自己的节奏。

随别人起舞,不快活,而且效率低。这两项,都是大忌。

Family and friends,做我的后盾吧,现在我真的很需要你们。

2009-07-12 13:13:33 +0000

 

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